Survivor's stories

Read below about the experiences of people who have lived through an eating disorder and come out the other side.

Eaten Away - Natalie's Memoir

Laura's story

It was a harmless photo taken by a friend that began Glaswegian Laura McLean's long and painful road to anorexia; a journey that would result in her weight plummeting to that of a small child.

Not liking what she saw in the photo twenty-year old Laura began gradually cutting down her food intake and exercising every night to achieve her dream of being thin. Only content with eating small pieces of chicken and measuring her water intake with a measuring jug, she looked for pointers in glossy magazines whose front covers were adorned with 'get thin quick' diets. Her life spiralled out of control when she became consumed with the idea of losing more weight and so depressed that she spent almost a year hiding away in bed.

Worried friends and family noticed Laura getting thinner and thinner and tried to help, but their cries fell on the deaf ears of a girl who felt happy when she could see her bones protruding from her skin. Unable to walk and close to death, a four stone Laura was admitted into the Eating Disorder Unit at the Priory Hospital Glasgow in July 2009.

Through an eight month stay in the Unit, Laura put on three and a half stone by slowly eating again. Only her memories can remind her of how painfully thin she was as she would not let anyone photograph her during the worst periods of her illness.

Now living back with her grandmother, Laura has ambitions to become a nurse and help other people gripped with anorexia.  She said: "I lost so many years to anorexia and didn't have a life, it was total nonsense what I was doing to myself but I didn't see it at the time, I put my family through misery all because of my pursuit to be thin. I thought I was still fat at four stone, I hated the way I looked and just wanted to be thinner. I was so dehydrated from constantly measuring out small amounts of water, anorexia was killing me and I didn't even know."

"The Priory in Glasgow saved my life. It was the best place that I could have gone to; I made so many friends and am a completely different person thanks to the confidence that they have given me to move forward. I'm going to put it all behind me now and am looking towards a positive future in which I can train to be a nurse like the ones that helped me in the Priory. I just want to help people who have gone through what I have been through and help them to realise that there is another option."

Dr Alex Yellowlees, medical director from the Priory Hospital Glasgow believes that young women are becoming increasingly susceptible to eating disorders as they pursue society's idealisation of the perfect body at all costs. He said: "In modern society the relentless promotion of the idealisation of thinness has put women under intense pressure to strive after the attainment of body perfection. They look up to and emulate female role models for direction about how to live as a woman and unfortunately such role models are often dysfunctional media stars and icons.  The media, advertising, fashion and cosmetic industries are all part of the machine promoting the myth that in order to have real value in our culture; women ought to be constantly motivated towards the attainment of physical perfection."

"It is messages like this that spur girls like Laura into the devastating world of anorexia, but she is one of the lucky ones and has responded extremely well to treatment and should be proud of how far she has come."

David's story

David says he felt quite down from around the age of 14. His problems really came to a head when we went to Uni. He moved away to Leicester to study law. He felt he didn't know what he was doing with his life and realised he wasn't young anymore. He says his life got worse the older he got and he desperately wanted to put the brakes on.

David felt socially inadequate and like he didn't belong or fit in. He felt unattractive and a failure with girls. He thought he was dull and his depression continued to grow. He gradually began to focus more and more on food. He says it was something he could control. While focussing on that he could stop thinking about or dealing with the other problems.

He knew exactly what he was doing each day. It made him manipulative and when he looks back, he was lying to everyone about what he was doing. He wanted to be left alone, so he told people what they wanted to hear.

He stopped eating with other people. He became more and more reclusive, seeing friends less and less, making up excuses and cutting himself out of things.  He developed anorexia. He says it was a form of self-punishment. He enjoyed food so it was a punishment to himself, born out of self-loathing. At his lowest weight he was under 9 stone, while being 6ft 5 in height.

David's mum is a GP and has great guilt about not spotting the problem earlier. In 2004 he was referred for help at the Priory and he is now just over 12 stone. David says it was never the weight or being a particular weight that he wanted. He needed to be in control of something and to punish himself.