Male loneliness: why it happens and what you can do about it

Discover why many men experience loneliness, how it can affect emotional and physical health, and what you can do about it.

Written by: Lottie Storey

Mental health & addictions writer and therapist

Clinically reviewed by: Matt Dawkin

Psychological therapist at Priory Wellbeing Centre Canterbury

Loneliness is a common issue experienced by most of us at some point in our lives. It can feel uncomfortable, but it also acts as a signal that we need meaningful connection with other people.

Researchers define the different types of loneliness in two ways:

Social loneliness refers to feeling like you don’t have enough friends or feeling that you aren’t part of a community
Emotional loneliness is sometimes described as ‘feeling alone in a crowded room’. You might be surrounded by people but still feel disconnected from them, wishing others to understood you while finding it difficult to share what’s happening inside

The male loneliness epidemic is a term used to describe a growing lack of connection experienced by many men. While the term ‘epidemic’ was originally used to describe outbreaks of disease, it’s now also used more broadly to describe issues that affect the wellbeing of large numbers of people.

Research from the British Red Cross states loneliness affects around 9 million people in the UK (around 16.5% of the population) and this number has increased by around half a million since the COVID-19 pandemic. Because of its widespread impact, loneliness is increasingly described as an epidemic.

While loneliness can affect anyone, growing attention has been given to how social and cultural factors may make some men particularly vulnerable to isolation.

How loneliness can affect men

Loneliness has an impact on mental health but it can also affect physical health. Some research even suggests loneliness has as big an effect on physical health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Here are some of the ways loneliness can impact emotions, behaviour and physical health in men:

Emotional symptoms	You might find yourself being more irritable than usual, which can escalate into feelings of anger that are masking your inner pain. Or you might find that you feel sadness. Feeling numb is also a common symptom of loneliness
Behavioural changes	You might notice a change in the way you interact with others, such as avoiding conversations or withdrawing socially. Overworking is also a possible sign of loneliness, as filling your time with work may be a way to avoid difficult feelings
Health risks	You may become depressed, anxious or have trouble sleeping. Loneliness can even increase the risk of heart disease or mortality. Men are at higher risk of death by suicide so it’s important to take loneliness seriously

Why do men experience loneliness?

Different groups feel loneliness in different ways and there are several reasons why men may be particularly vulnerable to social disconnection.

1. Fewer close friendships in adulthood

Men have fewer close friendships in adulthood than ever before. A 2019 YouGov poll found that a third of men said they didn’t have any best friends at all. Even when friendships exist, they can weaken during major life transitions, such as moving away for university.

2. Friendships often revolve around activities

Male friendships are often built around shared activities such as sport, work or hobbies. While these can be meaningful, they may not always create space for deeper emotional conversations about loneliness or personal struggles.

3. Social expectations around masculinity

Many men grow up with messages that they should be strong, independent or stoic. These expectations can make it harder to harder to admit feeling lonely or to ask others for support.

4. Relationships becoming the main emotional outlet

For some men, romantic relationships become the primary place where emotions are shared. If a relationship ends, it can mean losing both a partner and a main source of emotional support at the same time.

5. Life changes that disrupt social networks

Major life changes can affect social connection. Moving to a new area, becoming a parent or retiring can all reduce opportunities for regular social contact. For some men, these transitions can be particularly challenging if work or structured activities were their main source of social interaction.

6. Modern lifestyles and isolation

Modern life can also make it harder for people to stay socially connected. Long working hours, remote work, financial pressures and living further away from family or friends can reduce opportunities to spend time together. While this affects both men and women, men may be less likely to actively seek out new social opportunities when existing routines change.

7. Difficulty forming new friendships in adulthood

Making new friends often becomes harder later in life. Many social opportunities are built into school, university or early career environments. As people get older, these built-in spaces for connection often disappear.

Although this affects everyone, men may find it more difficult to initiate new friendships or social groups in adulthood.

8. Changes in traditional social spaces

Opportunities for regular social interaction have shifted in recent decades. In the past, many people formed friendships through workplaces, community groups, sports clubs, pubs or religious communities. As these spaces have changed or declined, some men may find fewer natural places to build connections.

Addressing male loneliness

There are small, practical steps you can take to manage your feelings of loneliness.

Start small	Try one small step that feels manageable for you. This might be going for a walk, spending time in a public place such as a café or park, or sending a message to someone you’ve spoken to before. Small steps can gradually build confidence
Find a low-pressure way to connect	Hobbies and shared activities can help create opportunities to meet people, but they don’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. This could be a free community group, volunteering occasionally for a meaningful cause, attending a local event, or revisiting an interest you used to enjoy
Look after your basic needs	When you’re feeling low, it can be harder to look after yourself. Prioritise eating regular meals, getting enough sleep and spending some time outdoors It might also help to limit the amount of time you spend online, especially if you find yourself endlessly scrolling or comparing yourself to others
Use technology thoughtfully	Online spaces can sometime help you feel less alone. This could be online support groups, forums or interest-based communities. Try to focus on places that encourage conversation and connection, rather than endless scrolling

How to help someone else who might be lonely

If you’re worried about a friend, partner, relative or colleague and think they might be lonely, look out for common signs of loneliness include anger, frustration, silence or a change in habits.

If you notice any of these, some practical steps to take include:

Reach out with casual check-ins or regular invites to meet up, so they know they’re not alone. Shared activities can be a useful bridge between you both
Be someone they can talk to. Encouraging gentle openness gives them permission to share how they’re feeling without making it a big emotional moment
If loneliness seems to be affecting them deeply, help is available. You could signpost them to articles about loneliness and depression or to organisations like Talk Club, Men Who Talk or Andysmanclub
You don’t have to have all the answers. Being there to listen and offer support can make a real difference, but lasting change often comes from the steps they feel ready to take themselves

You’re not alone: how to move forward

Many men experience loneliness at different points in their lives, even if it’s not always talked about openly. Feeling this way doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, and change is possible. Things can get better, even by taking small, manageable steps.

If you feel ready, reaching out to someone you trust can be a helpful place to start. This might be a friend, a family member or a professional from an organisation like Samaritans who’s trained to listen and support you.

If you’re struggling to share your feelings with others, remember that there’s strength in vulnerability. Many men aren’t used to speaking openly about loneliness, but doing so can be an important first step towards feeling more connected. The first conversation may feel difficult but it often becomes easier with time.