Tips for staying sober during the festive season
The festive season has been dubbed “the most wonderful time of the year”, but for those in recovery, remaining sober can be especially hard.
It is possible to have an enjoyable time while embracing a life of recovery. Take the opportunity to celebrate not only the holiday, but also your new life of sobriety, which is something to be proud of.
If you find yourself struggling, please remember that you are not alone. Help is only a phone call or a meeting away. The addiction treatment team at Priory Hospital Woking have put together some practical tips to help make staying sober easier:
Plan each and every day of your holiday season
Make a six-week plan to get you through the holiday period. Organise your events and plan to spend time with friends and family who are supportive of your recovery. Make sure you include the few weeks after Christmas in your plan – many who get through Christmas without relapsing become complacent and relapse in January.
It’s important to have a realistic attitude about the potential for anxiety or conflict. The tension between the actuality of our situations and our idealised images of holiday harmony can lead to anxiety – be realistic about how the season could increase your anxiety and stress, and how you’re going to access the support that you need.
Recognise your triggers
Whether your triggers are stress, frustration, fear, anxiety or depression, or are environmental, like being around certain people and places, stay mindful. The festive season can be busy and stressful, so ensure that you check in with yourself emotionally and prioritise your self-care.
Create new traditions and replace old patterns
If you’re newly sober, going back to the same holiday parties you attended when you were using may not be in your best interests. Instead, find festive activities that are enjoyable to participate in without having to consume addictive substances or use addictive behaviours. Buy a new board game, take the family on a sleigh ride, try a new restaurant or start a completely new tradition.
Use your support network
Your family, friends and fellowship peers all want you to get through this holiday season clean and sober, so let them help you. When attending events, take a sober buddy. Make a list of ten people you can call, including your sponsor; keep your list with you at all times and call at least one person a day. If you are attending an event, schedule to call someone before, during and after.
Stay away from ‘slippery places’; there is absolutely no reason to attend your former drinking or drug-taking establishments. Be selective of whom you accept invitations from; you’ll know which parties and social groups are appropriate and which ones are not. If you have said ‘yes’ to a social function but don’t feel up to it, it’s okay to say you can’t attend. Now you’re sober and are connecting with your gut instincts again, check in with yourself and your peers, and go with that feeling.
Know your limits
Around the holidays, your ‘to-do list’ becomes even longer and people seem to ask more of you, whether it’s party planning, shopping, decorating or entertaining. Set realistic expectations for yourself and other people. Also, don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries and say no.
If you do begin to feel overwhelmed, break the day into manageable sizes; an afternoon, an hour, or five minutes.
Have a plan for the event and an exit plan
If you are attending social gatherings, plan ahead and take your own non-alcoholic beverages. Have an exit plan in case you start to feel uncomfortable, especially if there are triggers present. Drive your car if you can, have taxi numbers if you can’t, and let the hosts know that you may have to leave early. You do not have to stay in a place if you don’t feel comfortable.
Watch out for hidden alcohol
Some baked goods, like Christmas cake, chocolate and mince pies may contain liquor. Check food labels, ask the host if any of the food may have alcohol, and if you’re not sure, don’t risk it.
Write out a daily gratitude list
The quickest cure to the holiday blues is by putting things in perspective; count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. Expressing thanks or simply giving a compliment has a way of lifting others’ spirits and your own.
Volunteer your services
Whether it’s a charitable organisation or a friend in need, there are many people in your community who are less fortunate than you. Help yourself and your self-esteem by helping other people.
Avoid H.A.L.T (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
If you’re hungry, get something to eat. If you’re angry, reach out and talk to someone about it. If you’re lonely, go to a meeting or call a peer. If you’re tired, get a good night’s sleep.
Make self-care a priority
Make sure to concentrate on your overall health. By eating properly, getting enough sleep and making time to take care of yourself, you can keep your body and your mind healthy. Don’t forget about regular exercise, and although it’s tempting with so much wonderful food around, don’t indulge to such an excess that you make yourself feel guilty or ill.
Stay away from social media
This holiday season take a break from social media with a digital detox. When on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, it’s easy to begin comparing your life to others, which will only feed depression and resentment.
Keep a dry house
Empty your house of alcohol and substances. In the festive season it can feel like alcohol is everywhere, which is why it’s more important than ever to have a safe, substance-free place that you can retreat to. For online gaming and video addiction be mindful of gifts; latest games, gaming equipment, other addiction paraphernalia.
Attend 12-Step fellowship meetings
Many groups have special meetings during the holidays to share their experience, strength and hope. Check when the local meetings in your area are running - in many cases extra meetings are added to offer greater support throughout the holidays, including Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year. There may also be 12-Step holiday events you can attend.
Live one day at a time and enjoy your sobriety
Stay in the moment and live one day at a time. Don’t worry about what happened or what could happen. Enjoy today and celebrate your sobriety.