Self-care for kids doesn’t have to mean anything elaborate like meditation or journaling. It’s much more about helping your child notice what they need and discover simple things they can do when they feel sad, angry or overwhelmed.
These are skills children can build with your help, and you don’t need any special equipment or preparation to get started.
We’re not born knowing what to do when we experience difficult emotions; this is something we learn over time with help from the adults around us.
Teaching your child simple ways to look after themselves can help them:
Recognise and talk about their feelings
Find healthy ways to cope when things feel difficult
Better at communicating their needs
Become more confident in handling everyday challenges
Parents play an important part in this. Research suggests that the way parents respond to and deal with their own emotions can influence how children learn to manage their own. This means that modelling healthy ways of managing emotions can be an important part of teaching children self-care. Parents can also benefit from finding their own ways to look after their wellbeing, especially when things get difficult.
The good news is that these skills don’t need to be taught formally. The best opportunities generally arise in ordinary moments when you can model healthy coping and help your child find strategies that work for them.
Self-care is an umbrella term that includes more formal practices like meditation as well as simpler things like talking to someone you trust. Everyone is different, so it can be useful to try different approaches and involve your child in finding out what works best for them.
When your child gets upset, try to gently help them figure out what’s happening instead of immediately trying to fix it. Sometimes, naming a feeling can make it feel a little less overwhelming.
For example, you could say, “Do you want to tell me how you’re feeling? You seem sad. Is that right?”
If your child is experiencing self-doubt or anxiety, it can help to separate their inner critic from themselves. Giving that critical voice a name or character can help them recognise that a thought isn’t necessarily a fact.
Help your child make the connection between how they’re feeling and what might help. Offering a few options can make this easier, especially for younger children.
For example, “Do you want to tell me about it? Or would it be more helpful to have some quiet time?”
Sitting down doesn’t always make us feel calmer. If your child is frustrated or restless, movement may help them release some of that energy. You could try walking, dancing, singing, stretching or running around outside.
For example, “It seems like you’ve got a lot of energy in your body right now. Should we move around for five minutes?”
If your child is worried or overwhelmed, slowing down their breathing can give them something to focus on. Try taking three slow breaths together or slowly tracing up and down the fingers of one hand while breathing in and out.
Suggest it gently, don’t force it. For example, “Let’s take three slow breaths together and then see what we need.”
Most people need a bit of time to decompress after a busy day, including children. After school or being in social situations, allow your child to read, draw, listen to music or simply spend a few minutes somewhere quiet to allow them time to decompress.
Spending time outside can be a simple way to support wellbeing, with research suggesting that contact with nature may benefit children’s overall mental health. This can be in a park, a playground with natural elements, or natural environments like a forest.
Each child finds different things helpful. When you notice something seems to have had a positive impact on them, ensure that you draw their attention to it.
For example, “You seemed much calmer after drawing for a while. Did that help?”
Over time, this can help your child build their own mental list of tools they can turn to when they’re having a difficult day.
Children learn from watching and listening to you. When they see you recognise what you need and respond to it, they learn that taking care of yourself is a normal and non-negotiable part of everyday life.
For example, “I’ve had a really busy day and I’m feeling a bit tired, so I’m going to sit quietly/read my book/write down how I feel/go outside for 10 minutes.”
If you’d like to explore self-care further with your child, Priory’s free Emotional Wellbeing Programme offers a range of helpful resources, including:
Videos and downloadable activities designed for children aged 9 to 12 years
Resources you can work through together at your own pace
The flexibility to choose activities that feel most useful for your child
The programme is divided into five core areas, which consist of: wellbeing, communication, skills, mood and activities.
You don’t have to get self-care right every time, and neither does your child.
Some days they’ll happily go for a walk, talk about what’s happening for them or take a quiet break. Other days, nothing you suggest will appeal, and that’s okay. The aim isn’t to give your child a perfect response to every difficult feeling, but to gradually help them to discover what works for them.
And while you’re helping your children to learn how to look after themselves, don’t forget about yourself. Our self-care for adults pages offer simple ways to make space for your own wellbeing too.
It’s important to remember that young people, parents and caregivers don’t have to struggle alone; expert psychiatric support for children and adolescents is available, and the most crucial first step is to seek specialist treatment.
As well as assessments, diagnoses and support, we are currently able to offer fast access to private treatment at Priory. Please call us today and speak to our expert advisers.
