My journey to a new positive perspective on life

From low mood and isolation to a new positive perspective on life

Positive outcomes at Priory Hospital Woodbourne

“Prior to coming into hospital I had struggled for many years with my emotions and understanding what was going on for me. I had never had help from any kind of mental health service and I had never asked for help. I reached breaking point. I felt that if I didn’t get help now, I would kill myself and my worrying thoughts had become obsessive. I was in my own head; I had shut everything out.

I had no idea what to expect when I arrived at Woodbourne. I thought it was going to be like a prison and I was expecting solitude, lockdown, a secure environment, no communal spaces, with all the doors locked after certain times.

I arrived late at night on Maple Ward and it was really quiet with no one about. Staff checked in my belongings and locked some stuff away. I thought: “I’m going to be trapped between four walls without my stuff and I’m not going to see the light of day”.

 But I woke up the next day and I was welcomed by the staff. I was surprised how involved people were and how much they tried to get me to open up and join activities. I was still in my own head though and I was thinking about previous negative experiences.

I started opening up to the psychologist. I realised that opening up can do me good. I started improving. He started challenging the thoughts I had.

Things had to get worse before they got better

I had a few outbursts on the ward and things got worse for me initially. I was moved to the psychiatric intensive care ward and I had no idea what this was going to be like. I was worried again about being locked up. There were patients on there who were very unwell and I worried about how I would respond to them given I usually lash out.

The psychologist continued to support me on Aspen ward and helped me to see that I could respond differently and that other people didn’t have to be part of my journey. Previously I wold have run and attacked this person but I started seeing that there was no need for me to be in trouble over someone that isn’t important to me. I started asking the staff to have one-on-one time with me for chats. The ‘me’ before would have just gone to my room and punched something sharp.

Staff on Aspen were really friendly and caring and if I got a ball, they would ask to join me to play outside or they would sit with me and ask me to teach them cards. They showed genuine interest. The nurses would recognise when I was quieter and come and ask me to talk or do an activity with them.

My family saw a difference

I started learning that I could also reach out and call or text my family. My mother had noticed a difference. I was more vocal about my feelings. Previously I wouldn’t talk for days on end. I would shut myself away and would never go anywhere. 

My mum was really happy. My Nan noticed this difference as well. I would reach out to them a lot more now – moving on with my life with a smile on my face.

I have learnt so much more about myself being at Woodbourne. I would never have spoken before and I feel shocked with myself and my progress. I am shocked how much I’ve opened up and what a difference this has made. If it can help me then it can help anyone. I’ve felt better than I’ve ever felt before and I understand my emotions now. I understand myself.

Moving on with life

I plan to do a lot more family visits now. I have made contact with people who care for me, people I’ve shut out for years. I plan to visit family in Manchester. Before this, I wouldn’t even leave my room let alone my town! I am taking things step-by-step but I will continue to work on myself and have a good attitude on life. Hopefully, in the best meant way, I won’t come back!”

*Image changed to protect identity.