Social anxiety, sometimes called social phobia, is more than just feeling shy or nervous around other people. It’s a deep fear of being judged, criticised or embarrassed in social situations – even during everyday things like making small talk, eating in public or speaking in a meeting. This fear can be so overwhelming that it affects your confidence, relationships, work and daily life.
Social anxiety can affect anyone and often leaves you feeling isolated and frustrated. But there is hope. Social anxiety is treatable and you don’t have to face it alone.
On this page, we’ll explore the signs of social anxiety, how to spot it in yourself or others, and what you can do to start feeling more confident in social situations.
Social anxiety often shows up as a persistent sense of worry or fear in everyday situations. These feelings can affect how you think and behave, how your body reacts and how you feel emotionally – even in situations that may seem small to others.
Watch this explainer of social anxiety from Dr Sheetal Sirohi, a Consultant Psychiatrist at Priory Hospital Woking.
Below are some common ways social anxiety can appear in day-to-day life:
These experiences can build up over time, affecting your confidence and making everyday life feel more stressful or overwhelming than it needs to be.
It’s completely normal to feel shy or nervous in some social situations. But social anxiety goes further. While both can make social interactions feel uncomfortable, social anxiety tends to be more intense, longer lasting and more disruptive to everyday life. It’s also worth noting that shyness isn’t a disorder, whereas social anxiety is a recognised mental health condition.
Here are some of the key differences.
| Shyness | Social anxiety |
|---|---|
Mild discomfort | Intense fear or panic |
Short-term | Long-lasting |
Manageable | Overwhelming |
Doesn’t hold you back | Stops you doing things |
Easier to brush off | Hard to stop thinking about |
Occasional | Frequent or daily |
Shyness usually fades as you get used to a situation – like warming up at a party. Social anxiety, on the other hand, can cause distress that starts days before the event and continues long after it’s over, often with ongoing self-criticism or regret.
Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder, making it easy to confuse with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD).
Whilst both can lead to physical symptoms and avoidance, they differ in many key areas. Social anxiety refers to anxiety in, or about, social situations, and often develops at a young age (below 15 years old).
Anxiety in GAD can revolve around a range of issues, both major and minor. The average onset age tends to be young adults (21-35 years old).
It’s common to wonder whether your feelings in social situations are simply ‘normal nerves’ or something more. Social anxiety can affect people of all ages and recognising the signs – in yourself or someone you care about – is often the first step towards feeling more in control.
Social anxiety often starts in late childhood or adolescence, but the signs can be easy to miss. They’re often mistaken for things like shyness, moodiness or even defiance.
Common signs include:
Many adults live with social anxiety without realising it. Over time, they may have adapted their life around it – avoiding the things that make them anxious, without ever putting a name to what they’re experiencing.
You might notice:
If social anxiety is starting to affect your daily life, it’s a good idea to reach out for help.
You might notice:
Your GP can be a helpful first step. They can listen to your concerns, rule out any other issues and guide you towards the right support – whether that’s therapy, self-help tools or further assessment with a mental health professional.
There are small steps you can take to build confidence and feel more in control of social anxiety, even if the idea of socialising still feels daunting. These self-care strategies aren’t about ‘fixing’ yourself, but just helping you feel more comfortable and less overwhelmed.
If self-help isn’t enough, professional support can make a big difference, and there are proven treatments that really work. Getting help doesn’t mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with you; it’s about learning new tools to feel calmer and more in control.
Treatment for social anxiety will be tailored to you, depending on your experiences and needs. It may include:
Professional treatment doesn’t have to mean long-term therapy or hospital stays. Many people benefit from short-term sessions, flexible online support, or a combination of approaches that fit around their life. The goal is to give you practical tools and strategies that last well beyond the sessions themselves.
At Priory, we offer a wide range of flexible anxiety treatment options – including online therapy, outpatient appointments, and intensive programmes – all tailored to suit your needs and lifestyle.
There isn’t one single cause of social anxiety. It often develops from a mix of factors that shape how we think and feel in social situations.
Some people are more naturally sensitive or have a strong fear of being judged, which can make them more prone to anxiety. Temperament can also play a role. For example, children who show behavioural inhibition (a tendency to be shy, cautious or withdrawn in new situations) are at a higher risk of developing social anxiety later in life. Family history can also contribute, as anxiety can sometimes run in families.
Life experiences matter too. Social anxiety can start after an upsetting or embarrassing moment, or from growing up in an environment where there was a lot of criticism, bullying or pressure to ‘get things right’.
Overprotective parenting or a lack of social confidence during childhood can also contribute.
Most importantly, social anxiety isn’t a personal failing – it’s a common response to how our brains and past experiences interact.
Mild social anxiety can sometimes improve, especially as people gain confidence through life experiences or positive social interactions. However, for many, social anxiety tends to continue over time and it may become more persistent if not addressed. This is because avoiding social situations often reinforces the fear, making it harder to face them in the future.
The good news is that social anxiety is treatable. With the right tools, support and small steps, you can learn to handle social situations with much more confidence. You don’t have to wait for it to go away on its own – help is available, and it really can make a difference.
Supporting someone with social anxiety starts with patience and understanding. Try not to push them into situations they’re not ready for, as this can increase their anxiety. Instead, let them set the pace and reassure them their feelings are valid.
You could offer to accompany them to events or help them rehearse situations they find challenging – for example, practising a conversation or role-playing a work scenario. If their anxiety is affecting their day-to-day wellbeing, gently encourage them to speak to a GP or mental health professional.
Your support, no matter how small it may feel, can make a real difference. Knowing someone is there for them can help ease their fears and give them the confidence to take positive steps forward.
Not all anxiety can be prevented, as it often develops from a mix of personality traits, life experiences and other factors. However, there are ways to build confidence and resilience early on, which may reduce the likelihood of social anxiety taking hold.
Encouraging children (and even adults) to face social situations gradually, rather than avoiding them, can help them feel more comfortable. Creating an environment where open communication and emotional expression are welcomed also makes a big difference – knowing it’s OK to talk about worries can stop them from building up.
Promoting self-compassion and problem-solving skills can help people handle challenges without being too hard on themselves. It’s not about preventing every anxious moment, but about giving ourselves the tools and confidence to cope when anxiety arises.
