Call Us
Tap on a number to call
Enquire
Log In
Menu
Contact Us
Call Us
Tap on a number to call
Enquire

Social anxiety (social phobia)

Social anxiety can be overwhelming, but recognising the symptoms early means you can start getting the help and support you need.

Start your journey to recovery with Priory and learn more about our evidence-based mental health treatments, delivered by expert clinicians.

Call Us
Tap on a number to call
Page last updated:
Written by: Rachael Heades
Senior copywriter

Social anxiety, sometimes called social phobia, is more than just feeling shy or nervous around other people. It’s a deep fear of being judged, criticised or embarrassed in social situations – even during everyday things like making small talk, eating in public or speaking in a meeting. This fear can be so overwhelming that it affects your confidence, relationships, work and daily life.

Social anxiety can affect anyone and often leaves you feeling isolated and frustrated. But there is hope. Social anxiety is treatable and you don’t have to face it alone.

On this page, we’ll explore the signs of social anxiety, how to spot it in yourself or others, and what you can do to start feeling more confident in social situations.

Traits of social anxiety

Social anxiety often shows up as a persistent sense of worry or fear in everyday situations. These feelings can affect how you think and behave, how your body reacts and how you feel emotionally – even in situations that may seem small to others.

Watch this explainer of social anxiety from Dr Sheetal Sirohi, a Consultant Psychiatrist at Priory Hospital Woking

Below are some common ways social anxiety can appear in day-to-day life:

  • Fear of being watched or judged – you might feel like all eyes are on you, even during simple tasks like walking into a room. This can lead to constant self-monitoring and a fear of doing something ‘wrong’
  • Avoiding social situations – to escape the discomfort, you may start avoiding things like team lunches, social gatherings or even popping to the shops in case you bump into someone you know. Over time, this can lead to isolation and make it harder to connect with others
  • Worrying for days or weeks in advance of a social situation – you might find yourself dreading an upcoming event long before it happens – such as a wedding, work event or group outing – imagining all the things that could go wrong
  • Replaying conversations after they happen – you might overthink what you said, worrying that you sounded strange, offended someone or embarrassed yourself, even when others didn’t notice anything unusual
  • Struggling to speak or make eye contact – you might freeze up, stumble over your words or avoid eye contact, particularly when speaking with authority figures, strangers or in group settings
  • Physical symptoms of anxiety – your body may react with a racing heart, sweating, shaking, nausea or a dry mouth when you’re in social situations, which can add to the fear of being noticed or judged

These experiences can build up over time, affecting your confidence and making everyday life feel more stressful or overwhelming than it needs to be.

Social anxiety or shyness – what’s the difference?

It’s completely normal to feel shy or nervous in some social situations. But social anxiety goes further. While both can make social interactions feel uncomfortable, social anxiety tends to be more intense, longer lasting and more disruptive to everyday life.

Here are some of the key differences.

ShynessSocial anxiety

Mild discomfort

Intense fear or panic

Short-term

Long-lasting

Manageable

Overwhelming

Doesn’t hold you back

Stops you doing things

Easier to brush off

Hard to stop thinking about

Occasional

Frequent or daily

Shyness usually fades as you get used to a situation – like warming up at a party. Social anxiety, on the other hand, can cause distress that starts days before the event and continues long after it’s over, often with ongoing self-criticism or regret.

Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder, making it easy to confuse with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). 

Whilst both can lead to physical symptoms and avoidance, they differ in many key areas. Social anxiety refers to anxiety in, or about, social situations, and often develops at a young age (below 15 years old). 

Anxiety in GAD can revolve around a range of issues, both major and minor. The average onset age tends to be young adults (21-35 years old). 

social anxiety compared to generalised anxiety disorder

How do I know if I have social anxiety?

It’s common to wonder whether your feelings in social situations are simply ‘normal nerves’ or something more. Social anxiety can affect people of all ages and recognising the signs – in yourself or someone you care about – is often the first step towards feeling more in control.

Social anxiety often starts in late childhood or adolescence, but the signs can be easy to miss. They’re often mistaken for things like shyness, moodiness or even defiance. 

Common signs include:

  • Refusing to speak or take part in class
  • Avoiding eye contact or group play
  • Sticking close to adults or playing alone
  • Complaining of physical symptoms, such as stomach aches or feeling sick before school, parties or events. These are often genuine signs of anxiety, not excuses
  • Emotional outbursts in social situations – crying, shutting down or having meltdowns when they’re expected to interact with other people
  • Struggling with friendships – finding it hard to make or maintain relationships with peers

Many adults live with social anxiety without realising it. Over time, they may have adapted their life around it – avoiding the things that make them anxious, without ever putting a name to what they’re experiencing.

You might notice:

  • Avoiding conversations or meetings – dodging phone calls, presentations or chatting to people at work
  • Dreading social events in advance – feeling anxious for days or weeks beforehand
  • Physical symptoms before social interactions, including shaking, sweating or nausea
  • Replaying conversations – going over what you said and worrying you embarrassed yourself
  • Turning down opportunities – avoiding promotions, social plans or speaking up at work due to the fear of judgement 

If social anxiety is starting to affect your daily life, it’s a good idea to reach out for help. 

You might notice:

  • Self-help strategies aren’t making much difference
  • You or your child are becoming more withdrawn or avoiding more social situations
  • Anxiety stops you doing the things you enjoy

Your GP can be a helpful first step. They can listen to your concerns, rule out any other issues and guide you towards the right support – whether that’s therapy, self-help tools or further assessment with a mental health professional.

Think you might have social anxiety?

Self-help strategies for social anxiety

There are small steps you can take to build confidence and feel more in control of social anxiety, even if the idea of socialising still feels daunting. These self-care strategies aren’t about ‘fixing’ yourself, but just helping you feel more comfortable and less overwhelmed.

  • Calm your body – when anxiety takes over, your body can feel like it’s in danger, even when it’s not. Breathing exercises can help calm your nervous system and reduce physical symptoms like a racing heart. Try one of our short guided meditations to feel more grounded in the moment
  • Start small and build up gradually – choose low-pressure opportunities to practise social interaction, like saying hello to a neighbour or ordering a coffee. These small wins can help you slowly build confidence
  • Challenge unhelpful thoughts – social anxiety can make you assume the worst. You might think you’ll embarrass yourself or people will think you’re weird. Try gently questioning these thoughts. Are they true? Have you been wrong about it before?
  • Get outsidenature and mental health are inextricably linked. Spending time outdoors, especially in nature, can help reduce stress and ease feelings of anxiety. Even a short walk or sitting in a green space can create a sense of calm and perspective

Treatment for social anxiety

If self-help isn’t enough, professional support can make a big difference, and there are proven treatments that really work. Getting help doesn’t mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with you; it’s about learning new tools to feel calmer and more in control.

Treatment for social anxiety will be tailored to you, depending on your experiences and needs. It may include:

  • Talking therapies – cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety. It helps you identify unhelpful thought patterns, such as assuming others are judging you, and replace them with more balanced ways of thinking and behaving
  • Exposure-based approaches – with the guidance of a therapist, you can gradually face the situations you fear in a safe, supported way. For example, if ordering food in a café feels daunting, you might first practise saying a short phrase to a friend, then build up to asking a shop assistant a simple question, before finally tackling the café situation itself. This step-by-step approach helps to reduce the power those situations have over you
  • Group therapy – the idea of speaking in front of a group might feel terrifying, but group therapy is designed to be a safe, supportive space. Everyone’s in the same boat and understands how difficult it can feel. There’s no judgement or pressure to share until you’re ready. Simply being with others who ‘get it’ can be reassuring and confidence-building
  • Medication – some people benefit from medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are a type of antidepressant. These can help manage anxiety symptoms and are often used alongside therapy

Professional treatment doesn’t have to mean long-term therapy or hospital stays. Many people benefit from short-term sessions, flexible online support, or a combination of approaches that fit around their life. The goal is to give you practical tools and strategies that last well beyond the sessions themselves.

At Priory, we offer a wide range of flexible anxiety treatment options – including online therapy, outpatient appointments, and intensive programmes – all tailored to suit your needs and lifestyle.

FAQs

What causes social anxiety?

There isn’t one single cause of social anxiety. It often develops from a mix of factors that shape how we think and feel in social situations.

Some people are more naturally sensitive or have a strong fear of being judged, which can make them more prone to anxiety. Family history can also play a role, as anxiety can sometimes run in families.

Life experiences matter too. Social anxiety can start after an upsetting or embarrassing moment, or from growing up in an environment where there was a lot of criticism, bullying or pressure to ‘get things right’.

Overprotective parenting or a lack of social confidence during childhood can also contribute.

Most importantly, social anxiety isn’t a personal failing – it’s a common response to how our brains and past experiences interact. 

Can social anxiety go away on its own?

Mild social anxiety can sometimes improve over time, especially as people gain confidence through life experiences or positive social interactions. However, for many, social anxiety tends to persist and it can even get worse if it’s left unaddressed. This is because avoiding social situations often reinforces the fear, making it harder to face them in the future.

The good news is that social anxiety is treatable. With the right tools, support and small steps, you can learn to handle social situations with much more confidence. You don’t have to wait for it to go away on its own – help is available, and it really can make a difference.

How can I support someone with social anxiety?

Supporting someone with social anxiety starts with patience and understanding. Try not to push them into situations they’re not ready for, as this can increase their anxiety. Instead, let them set the pace and reassure them their feelings are valid.

You could offer to accompany them to events or help them rehearse situations they find challenging – for example, practising a conversation or role-playing a work scenario. If their anxiety is affecting their day-to-day wellbeing, gently encourage them to speak to a GP or mental health professional.

Your support, no matter how small it may feel, can make a real difference. Knowing someone is there for them can help ease their fears and give them the confidence to take positive steps forward.

Can social anxiety be prevented?

Not all anxiety can be prevented, as it often develops from a mix of personality traits, life experiences and other factors. However, there are ways to build confidence and resilience early on, which may reduce the likelihood of social anxiety taking hold.

Encouraging children (and even adults) to face social situations gradually, rather than avoiding them, can help them feel more comfortable. Creating an environment where open communication and emotional expression are welcomed also makes a big difference – knowing it’s OK to talk about worries can stop them from building up.

Promoting self-compassion and problem-solving skills can help people handle challenges without being too hard on themselves. It’s not about preventing every anxious moment, but about giving ourselves the tools and confidence to cope when anxiety arises.

Contact us to make an enquiry or for more information

Call Us
Tap on a number to call
Enquire