Sexual dysfunction refers to struggling with desire, arousal or ejaculation, while performance anxiety means feeling sexually inadequate or worrying that you can’t satisfy your partner.
Experiencing sexual dysfunction or performance anxiety can make you feel alone, but research shows that 43% of women and 31% of men report one type of sexual dysfunction. In the Trans community, the risks are even higher, with over 50% of transgender individuals reporting one type of sexual dysfunction.
These issues are often a result of underlying physical or emotional problems and are especially common during periods of stress or life changes.
It can feel embarrassing to acknowledge or talk about, but sexual dysfunction and performance anxiety are common and treatable.
There are common symptoms of sexual dysfunction and performance anxiety.
If you experience anxiety related to sex, your body releases stress hormones. This can reduce your ability to get aroused, even if you find the other person sexually attractive.
For men, this can lead to psychological erectile dysfunction. For women, this can mean not getting sexually aroused or being unable to reach orgasm.
For some transgender people, sexual performance anxiety can be linked to heightened body awareness, gender dysphoria or concerns about how their body is perceived during intimacy.
Feeling self-conscious, disconnected from certain body parts, or worried about judgement can damage self-esteem, make it harder to relax, stay present and experience arousal.
Experiencing this once or a few times can lead to an anxiety cycle: the fear of it happening again causes tension, which disrupts arousal, reinforces the fear and makes it more likely to happen again.
Depression is a mental health condition that can significantly affect sex and intimacy.
The symptoms of depression, including low mood, fatigue, negative self-beliefs and emotional numbness can lower your sex drive (libido) and ability to connect with your partner sexually and emotionally.
Some common experiences include:
Some antidepressant medications can also affect sexual desire, arousal or orgasm, but these effects vary and not everyone experiences them.
There’s a difference between low libido and sexual dysfunction, though both can be affected by physical and mental health, lifestyle, or life changes.
In the first instance, it might be helpful to speak to your partner or a trusted friend about your experience. If possible, choose a low-pressure moment (not during an argument, for example) and focus on how you feel rather than what is ‘wrong’.
However, if it’s causing you ongoing distress, you’re avoiding intimacy entirely, or it’s impacting your mood, confidence or relationship, it might be time to seek help.
Therapy can play an important role in improving sexual wellbeing by addressing underlying mental health difficulties such as anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem that may be affecting your sex life.
Approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help reduce symptoms of sexual dysfunction, increase desire, and reshape unhelpful thought patterns, while couples therapy offers a confidential and supportive space to explore sexual difficulties together without judgement.
Reach out to your GP or to one of our team today to understand more treatments and manage your next steps.
Physical factors can also play a role in sexual dysfunction.
If you have any concerns about physical symptoms, speak to your GP who can suggest ways to support you.
Aside from therapeutic support, there are small changes you can make to your lifestyle that can improve your sexual confidence and desire.
